Recognizing The Signs of Domestic Abuse

"It may not be easy to identify abuse, especially at first. While some relationships are clearly abusive from the outset, abuse often starts subtly and gets worse over time. For example, abuse may begin with occasional hurtful comments, jealousy or controlling behavior. As it gets worse, the abuse may become more frequent, severe or violent. As the cycle of abuse worsens, your safety or the safety of your children may be in danger.

You may be a victim of abuse if you're in a relationship with someone who:

* Controls finances, so you have to ask for money
* Looks at you or acts in ways that scare you
* Acts jealous or possessive, or accuses you of being unfaithful
* Tries to control how you spend your time, who you see or talk to, where you go or what you wear
* Wants you to get permission to make everyday decisions
* Gets angry when drinking alcohol or using drugs
* Scares you by driving recklessly
* Threatens to kill him or herself

You are very likely in an abusive relationship if you have a relationship with someone who does even one of the following:

* Hits, kicks, shoves, slaps, or chokes you or threatens you with violence or a weapon
* Forces you to have sexual intercourse or engage in sexual acts against your will
* Calls you names, insults you or puts you down
* Prevents you from going to work or school
* Stops you from seeing family members and friends
* Hurts, or threatens to hurt you, your children or pets
* Destroys your property
* Controls your access to medicines
* Blames you for his or her violent behavior or tells you that you deserve it
* Says that his or her abusive behavior is no big deal or even denies doing it
* Tries to force you to drop charges
* Tries to prevent you from calling the police or seeking medical care"

If you find yourself in an abusive relationship, seek help.